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June 2, San Mateo, CA: I feel so anxious to start learning more about lighting and all the stuff I can do with it. It would really be nice to perfect some new tricks before my next shoot. But that requires time and money. I can find the time. Maybe. The money...not so much. But I will definitely be playing around much more with lighting now that its been somewhat demystified.
Also booked a vacation trip with my girlfriend. Too good a deal to pass up, even though its to somewhere I've already visited twice. I was saying to her that I have definitely hesitated to make longer-term plans in relationships before because the phrase "what if we aren't together" would run through my mind. It still happens, but I think we are both happy that we can be honest about the fact that we do have those thoughts. I think it helps us feel much less threatened by them. And, most importantly, those moments of uncertainty don't occur nearly as often and they don't make me panic anymore.