December 23, Deale, MD: A lazy, stay-at-home day. And very welcome. Lots of idle time has felt like torture many times over the past few months. I guess Ive sometimes been afriad to be alone with my thoughts. I am feeling confident that I will be ok. I hadn't had that feeling for a long time. Or I had...but I didn't really trust it. I thought it would change or go away. It just felt very fragile. I know I will continue to have tough moments from time to time, and I experienced some even today. But I feel good.