August 4, Menlo Park, CA: Today turned out to be a really really tough day, emotionally. I was in search of a little motivation at work and turned around to find the one personal item that I keep in my cube. Its a card that my mom made for me when I started my new job. I LOVE the message inside (and I tend to be very sentimental about cards, in general) so I decided to keep it on my wall. It was just what I needed to see, so what else would I do....I photographed it.
Later on in the day I realized that I'd had some serious communication issues and displayed a significant lack of empathy. Rightfully and thankfully, things got worked out by bedtime, which is a sign of progress, but it took a LOT out of me. I'm feeling good about making the effort. But relationships are not easy. I used to feel so guilty when people I dated would say that things shouldn't be as hard as they were. And they were probably right, not only based on the outcome, but based on what I've learned about myself since (maybe if I had acted on what I've learned since, they might never have felt that way...but we'll never know). It would still make me feel bad. Like I had the most flawed sense of what a relationship should be like. I still think that they are a ton of work and can be super difficult. I'm really....comforted, actually...to be working with someone who feels the same.