March 4, San Mateo, CA: I hate Comcast right now. They are slowing me down. Internet is like my health. And so many other things that I take for granted when they are intact. Right now I hate Comcast. Sometimes, when I am healthy, I try to stop to recognize how good I feel since its all I can think about when I'm sick. But I usually don't remember to do it. So maybe I will remember to love high-speed internet again next week, after the repair guy comes.
My mind is all over today. Harper Lee is a character. From a movie...The Best Man. And he is judgmental. And manipulative. And he projects. And we've had a lot in common. There aren't too many redeeming qualities, and maybe thats cause 2 hours wasn't enough to resolve his emotional shortcomings. I had always thought very poorly of Harper, mostly as a means of distancing his behavior from my own. Even though we had many similarities. Someone was watching that movie today, and thats how I came to think of Harper. Tonight I had a conversation that reminded me of some of the things that used to characterize my behavior. A friend reached out because they were experiencing a rough time, and I felt like I could empathize with nearly everything they were going through. Talking about his journey helped me so much more than I think he appreciated. Being reminded of the fact that we're flawed and that the only tragedy is not learning from our missteps is always welcome. So, I feel less like Harper all the time, but I do feel like so many of the things I used to do are my alcohol. And once an addict, always an addict.