July 15, San Mateo, CA: Ugh! Sick. Or allergies. Either way I feel like crap, and didnt want to even touch my camera tonight. But as soon as I started shooting, my energy level picked right up. It reminds me of the explanations of introversion that I have heard before: how you recharge or derive your energy. It was really clear to me tonight that shooting gives me energy. Maybe its because I had a vision of what I wanted to capture. As soon as I was done with the camera, I felt exhausted all over again and can't wait to go back to sleep. I'll deal with the actual images tomorrow.
I'm glad last nights events got sorted out. Im not at all angry any more. Man, there is a whole lot of benefit to saying how I feel when I feel it. I used to want to be a fixer. I used to say that I was good in crisis. But I think all I was was uncommunicative. When someone else was upset, I wouldn't share any of my concerns, and I'd find other (usually less constructive) ways to work through them...that just snowballed a bunch of stuff I was holding in. I guess I never would have thought that sharing your grievances at the same time as someone else could be a good path, but I think I was wrong about that. And a bunch of other stuff.