March 12, Burlingame, CA: "What if...?"
Seems like you could fill a lifetime with "what if"s. I filled my evening with them. What if I'd never left Genentech? Even though I might have seen this coming....and even though I had felt pangs of it in recent months, it still surprised me. I have been telling myself that asking the question "what if" is tantamount to devaluing everything that I have, that's happened. I feel like it undermines the people , the opportunities, and the challenges that have come into my life after making the choices that I have. Some of which I made so that I would never have to ask "WHAT IF...?!!" If I like my life, then I sould be willing to accept the path that led me here, even if I don't like everything that I did in every moment. I feel more accepting of that than I ever have. But I still asked "what if" earlier today. I probably will again someday. And thats ok, because maybe its just human. And maybe I'm still learning to accept being just human. Especially in ways that I'm not "supposed" to or that I don't want to. That's ok, too.