December 7, San Mateo, CA: Trying to remember to be good to and patient with myself. Also trying to figure out how transitioning back to full time employment will impact my relationship with the camera. Before April, it was so easy to define "who I was" by what I did for work. Since then, my self-definition has, by necessity, evolved into something that comes from the personal side of my life. I prefer it. I like the feeling of being defined by how I treat people (myself included) instead of what I have or what I do. But the transition is painful, after having avoided the ugliest parts of myself for so long. Sometimes I worry about returning to old mindsets once work becomes a big part of my life again...but there is just no going back. My gut tells me that I have much less to fear than I think.
I am also learning from how it feels to express myself, even when in the moment I feel like I'm exposing too much...no matter what happens, I need to keep moving toward loving who I am and creating opportunities to grow as a person and a photographer.