July 26, Milpitas, CA: I guess I could have anticipated a bit of an emotional hangover. I think after writing so much on Friday, and wanting to feel understood, I was a little deflated by the reponses I got. To be fair, they are 100% supportive, and some have been full of reciprocity in the vulnerability department. But most have lauded me for being courageous. I appreciate those words, but, to use the "out on a limb" analogy....I feel like I climbed a true and inched my way out, hoping that lots of people would join me on neighboring boughs. It feels more like lots of folks are gathering around the trunk and saying "nice job." I know in my head that that isn't exactly a fair assessment, and I do feel a bit ungrateful. Its just how I am feeling, and I don't really want to judge myself for an emotion. And maybe its because I am still just feeling more exposed than I am accustomed to. More in need of approval from the outside.
In other news, I think today was the first time I consciously and willingly risked my life to get a picture. I saw this shoe on my way to an appointment, and on my way back I laid in the lane to get this shot. There wasn't too much traffic; besides, nobody wanted to make a left.