October 3, San Mateo, CA: Impatient. Somewhat helpless. Today I began thinking a lot less about how I have been feeling and much more about the people who have been impacted by my actions & my choices. Feels like a good sign. I think the impatience and helplessness comes from a couple different places. Personal growth doesn't always happen on a timeline that is fast enough. And sometimes when you hurt people you care about, you can't be a part of what makes it right for them. I'm not sure that means you shouldn't try. Maybe when and how you try are just as important as whether or not you do. Both of those things have been on my mind all day.