September 13, St. Louis, MO: Today felt intense in a positive way. I consider myself sentimental in that I love to remember. Sometimes I wonder whether it can be said that I like living in the past in some ways. I love seeing things or places that remind me of childhood. Hearing songs that remind me of my parents or of a time in college. And because of that, I have felt protective of my memories. Sometimes I like that a certain song reminds me of a particular time, and so I won't play it at certain times so that it can stay associated with that moment and not have to compete with a new one. But recently, I have started to embrace the value of overwriting some memories. Of making room for new ones in their place. There is probably a way to describe being sentimental about things that don't make you happy....unproductive, wallowing, self-pity....something. I had only been to st. Louis once before, and I was looking forward to replacing that memory and its associations with something else. Done. And I'm pretty happy about it.
I also made the mistake of geting involved in a conversation about race with someone that I don't even know. And online. I know better.