August 12, San Mateo, CA: I've been thinking about something my mom and I were talking about on Sunday…not necessarily my sister, but about how she and I are quick to internalize the negative things people say about us but slow to embrace the positive. But when it comes to what we try to communicate about ourselves, we trumpet the positive but are much less likely to acknowledge the flaws. So I guess that all adds up to thinking lots about what you don’t like but talking lots about what do. Its funny…I think that for years I didn’t want to believe that she and I had nearly as much in common as we do. I’m a lot like both of my parents. Go figure.
I was also reading about some of what’s been going on for me lately, and I noticed that I’ve been angry. I hadn’t really thought much about that, but I have felt more on edge, first after the whole effort to open up about the whole Gates thing, a few relationship bumps mixed in, and the recent family stuff. I can probably always find something to be upset about. I don’t know that I like feeling angry or upset, but those issues seem important enough to care about, even though I may never figure them out completely.